Episode 21: The Life of Peter | Part 5 (Healing Peter’s Shame)
After explaining the meaning and power of shame, Dr. Bob and Jake reflect on the restorative encounter between Jesus and Peter on the shores of the Sea of Galilee. We can all resonate with Peter’s experience of denying Jesus and the resulting shame. Our hearts long to be healed and restored. Jesus comes to Peter, not to further shame him, but to heal him.
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Show Notes
Guiding Scripture
“When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter,[a] “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Feed my lambs.” (John 21:15)
Key Points
We all battle pride and shame
Guilt is about behaviour, shame is about identity in a deficiency
There is healthy shame (based in truth) and unhealthy shame (based in lies)
We are either living in the identity as beloved sons/daughters or we are living in a shame-based identity
Shame is a dynamic that gets locked in our hearts that keeps me from encountering love and believing that I’m lovable
We often judge others as projections of our own shame
When Jesus first appears to the apostles he speaks, “Shalom,” which means not only peace but forgiveness
Peter didn’t go to Jesus for restoration; Jesus came to Peter
Peace is good sign of Jesus’ presence
The goal of healing is intimacy, closeness, friendship with Jesus
Jesus brings Peter back into the memory of the denial but also Peter’s first encounter of Jesus’ goodness
Jesus will bring us back to important places in our story to heal us and to remind us of His goodness
When we get triggered we often try to make it stop. As difficult as they are, triggers are Jesus knocking on the door of our heart asking to come in and be with us.
John helps Peter recognize the Lord
The water Peter swims through to get to Jesus on the shore has many memories; it’s part of his story
Peter’s swim is like the return of the prodigal son
Peter realizes his need for a constant abiding relationship with Jesus
Peter’s swim is like the return of the prodigal son
Peter realizes his need for a constant abiding relationship with Jesus
Practical Application
To help identify shame in your life, ask yourself: “Where do I overcompensate and where do I undercompensate?”
Considering how we speak to ourselves when we mess up can reveal our struggle with shame.
What do you say to yourself when you make a mistake? Do you shame yourself?
Notice your first reaction to this truth, “Jesus is fiercely committed to your restoration.” Did a lie or a truth arise in your heart? That lie/truth affects your healing journey. Consider how it’s affecting you.
When we get triggered we often try to make the distress stop. The trigger is an invitation to turn the Lord for healing. Next time you are triggered, pause, and invite Jesus into the experience.
For Peter it was fishing. What do you “go back to” when you feel ashamed?
John helped Peter recognize Jesus. Who are people in your life who have helped you recognize Jesus? Pray a prayer of blessing over them.
Peter comes to realize his need for a constant abiding relationship with Jesus. Where do you experience that same need?
To the extent you are able, be aware of your poverty and what you haven’t been able to live fully. Repent of the pride of trying to be something you aren’t. Invite Jesus into the shame of not being who you want to be. Be with Him in His gaze of love.
