Episode 34: Healing in Marriage (Part 2) - Restoring Trust
We all bring brokenness into marriage and by God’s grace, we also get to participate in our spouse's healing journey. In part three of the Healing in Marriage series based on Dr. Bob’s book, “Be Devoted,” Jake and Bob discuss how to restore trust in broken areas of a marriage. They give practicals on how to navigate this often difficult journey, and show us how reconciliation is possible for anyone who is willing.
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Show Notes
Guiding Quote
“Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar and there recall your brother has anything against you, leave your gift there at the altar. Go first and be reconciled with your brother and then come and offer your gift.” - Matthew 5:23
Key Points
Your spouse is meant to be your greatest ally.
The little things matter. Everyday you are either building or weakening the trust between you and your spouse. Reconciling in the little things sets you up for success in the big things.
It’s easy to lose perspective when we’re locked into our own emotions.
The path to healing and restoration is hard, but it has been proven over and over again to work.
We come into marriage with all kinds of things from our past, and often we can end up helping our spouse restore trust in areas of brokenness that we didn’t cause. This is how the two become one.
Forgiveness doesn’t do the full work of restoration of trust. It’s a great step but then there’s the continued growth in character to avoid what caused the issue in the first place.
To begin reconciliation, Dr. Sam Fraser’s “Four Denials” need to be overcome in our own situation: denial of fact, responsibility, effect, hope.
Practical Application
Acknowledge your mistakes/failings.
Go to Confession
Commit to growing in character/maturity in the areas where you are weak.
Seek out support for your growth, whether it’s in therapy, spiritual direction, a small group or a close friend.
Find where you can encounter God and His grace.
Resources
Be Devoted, Dr. Bob Schuchts (book)
